Peace

#sigh!!! I don’t know where to begin.  It’s the hardest point to get to and the most crucial. Seconds, minutes, hours and days are completely different when you are without it, it’s a roller-coaster!!! Now as I am typing this I was asked by a friend because of were my mood is “what is the one thing I want so bad” I answered that!!! Things are just ok because I breathe, I eat, I survive and nothing more. I can’t find peace with who or what I am that makes it hard for me to appreciate and recognize my strength which in turn means I doubt God? And to be fair none of it is his fault.

Your soul is God and God is harmony and reverence that’s all within your existence every day and yet we struggle with it every second.  You carry happiness with you everywhere you go even in that state of mind you in it’s with you. The thought of finding it is like chasing dry leaves on a windy day it seems impossible because you don’t know where to begin. Beginning means wanting it, it will never come to you; you have to be in search of it?? I know I am without peace, I am not sure how that even feels like and if you find it let me know because I can imagine it being the safest and softest place on earth.

I bought my soul a bag so big that every bit of bullshit fits in it and I carry it every day and everywhere. Why? Beats me!!! How do I unpack it so I travel light, how do I accept my state of being, how do I forgive you, how do I stop being jealous, how do I move on to finding peace?