That which holds the key to life.

I have concluded trying to figure myself out is a puzzle I’ll never be able to piece together. I am an evolver; I am about new, forever trying things; in constant search of ways to better myself.  Stable?  Not and far from it.  Now, is the search to better myself internally or is it for external power? In all honesty I don’t know what would genuinely make me happy at this point because I have none of the two. It’s about decision making like everything in my life I have to carefully choose which of the two to pursue and hope the one I go for will make me happy. It comes with a lot of sleepless nights for real because I never make the right decision, why? I am repelling against the path I am meant to take; how? I don’t know. Refusing that path is sealing the foundation to an unhappy life!!!  I feel separated because I am unable to keep up or understand what we living for as a society? What truth is? What balance is? What success is? Why we separate God from ancestors and why some of us think the two can’t go together is a mystery…. I have issues of faith, I get angry at God almost all the time, I have questions my elders have no answers too, I don’t follow rules, I am a problem, As hard as it is to say but true I am without a cause! That doesn’t make me useful at all. This eagerness to search my soul is beyond me, it’s urgent it scares me, I want my soul to dance rid myself off shackles and breath just for a minute... Ke nna yo Morena, ke fithlile. #TRUTH